please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
