Cold hands, warm shart.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
