Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
