Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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