She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
