why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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