I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
