I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
