terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
