Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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