I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
