girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
