pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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