i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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