Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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