90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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