talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
