At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
