We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
