TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
