who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
