Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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