Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
