I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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