Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
