Dual....:-)
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
