Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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