I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
