dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
