She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
