He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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