I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
