So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
