smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize