I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
