I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
