oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
