you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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