omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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