:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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