he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
