I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
