I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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