she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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