remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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