So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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