what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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