You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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