dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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