The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
