He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
