They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
