Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
