i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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